OH MY GOODNESS! I STOLE THIS FROM YIHUILUPPIE'S BLOG, AND YES, STOLE! BUT WHO CARES, IT'S FUNNY.
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
The boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam has had enough. She took the boy to the principal's office. While the boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and
if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in. The conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and told her, "I think this boy can proceed to third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?"
Both of them agreed, and so she rattled off.
Ms Neelam asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
After a moment, the boy said "Legs."
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Ms Neelam: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
The boy was taking charge. He then said, "Bubblegum."
Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shaking hands
Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Ms Neelam: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Boy: A tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always gets me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tensed and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: A wedding ring!
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: A nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver
Boy.: An arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement ?
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you don't get it you have to use your hand?
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married ?
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy: THE HEART!
The principal heaved a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"